some days it really amazes me..n i guess most of u must have experienced it too..tht we want to be loved..to be cajoled..cared for..lik a baby..unconditionally..we wish tht someone were there to listen to all our tantrums all our nonsense and wud also admire and adore us for just tht...not sayin tht we dont get our share of luv from our near n dear ones..but i guess somedays i for one..sure feel an emptiness..a void in existing..i wud rather be in the midst of hills in ladakh..watching the small and innocent mountain children laughing and giggling in gay abandon wid a care-a-damn about-the-future-attitude..and enjoyin the cool and fresh breeze warm the cockles of my heart..but i'm forced to carry out my daily drudgery..i mean yeah its ok to say work is worship n enjoi ur workplace n all tht brouhaha..but i guess most of us wud agree that its easier said than done...
and for me i feel tht every such instance which makes me long to reach some far off alcove where there is nary a hassle..not a vestige of worry..and i choose still the same worrisome..hurrisome life..i feel lik i kill some beautiful part of mine..little by little..strangulating and suffocating tht innocent infant in me..the way to redemption prolly lies in listening to the heart..but sometimes i lack the courage to act tht way..to tread tht path..n i hate myself for those weaknesses..i dunno..wot wud release me from these moments of emptiness..is it some divine love..some divine occupation..a sudden inspiration..a ephemeral scenery..a fleeting smile..a pair of expressive eyes..wot wud be the trigger to start this massive turnaround..but i hope n feel its round the corner..whoever it is..whichever experience it mya be..i wish it to happen sooner rather than later..till then..i bide my time..
On 22nd September
No comments:
Post a Comment